Leave My Boobs Alone!

so i was hanging out with fam yesterday. and i told them how i've drastically decreased my coffee intake. the main reason for this is because i'm trying to be less dependant on other things, mainly cigarettes, legal drugs, illegal drugs, alcohol (always a losing battle on weekends), etc. BUT i didn't tell them that. instead, i gave them a more scientific answer from an authoritative source*.

drinking coffee makes your boobs smaller. 

that's right. 3 cups a day has a major effect on your breasts. and every cup after that too. now if you know/seen me, i can't afford to shrink my boobs. no back problems here! i'll take all the boobies i can get. ..only to make mine bigger. i would totally post a pic of my boob area. but we don't know each other that well yet. maybe after 150 posts. or 100 ...

*what? yeah, it's fox news. suck it. where are all my tri-state area fox 5 morning news people at?! mike woods, what!